1. |
American Goldfinch
01:57
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my summer was disrupted by a flicker near the curb
color of mud, broken by blood, skinny legs engulfed in dirt
Mentor winter seemed to teach me how to keep myself in verse
toeing the line, nickel and dime, never seemed to end up hurt
in a eulogy the day will come when i will write again
dispersal force that plagues my mind explain to me one time
wearing your crown upside down you begin to see a light
the finches that you're breeding, no they'll never outshine mine
because i've got a love that clings to me like a goldfinch in the night
through storms that shake my muddy palms its blood to which i'm clinging
evolved a heaven from the earth that keeps my mouth from ringing
so flood the fields and drown my eyes and set the bees to stinging
though flesh is lost and bones may break my goldfinch goes on singing
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2. |
San Quentin
01:08
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San Quentin you've been living hell to me
you've guarded me since i was seventeen
though i'll walk out a wiser, weaker soul
your stone walls turn my blood a little cold
San Quentin i hate every inch of you
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3. |
Billy (with Sam Horwitz)
04:01
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in the beginning - 04 - seven years passed, then five more
summers in between, underneath my windowsill, a radio
my heart kept still for the time but the third base line it never looked better then it did when i was nine or ten
but they blew it again
in the beginning
everything had happened (everything will happen)
i was a listener (under the ashes)
two sets of twins my cousin and his father
and brothers if i ever (trading for our names)
names i recall (i list them off in order)
dreaming in the yard (pretending they were looking)
and sleeping through fall (a season growing shorter)
and learning to read and learning to write
i can still remember (all the years before)
they exorcised the devil (a comeback in florida)
and took down the empire (began to build our own)
closely followed by a comet
and history marches on
and baltimore orioles on my radio
squabbling jays and gemini dynasty
now that i'm older no fear of the tigers
my childhood hero he left with a whimper
and it isn't Wright when your body betrays you
take me to anaheim let me see history
cry at the bridges in pittsburgh they're copious
show me chicago so i may feel wonderful
hold me chicago may i be forgiven
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4. |
Oakland
04:19
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i'm in love with ohio - tongue out my mouth like richman down the road
i'm in love with northern arizona - like a little boy with tv girls on my mind
i'm in love with the colder parts of europe - pictures of lilyhammer on my wall
and it's all mine - and i will take it when it's time
my english tongue won't say goodbye - adieu, à plus, i lose my mind
with all the looks that lay behind the alameda county line
and when i go to oakland will you be fine?
i know the things you said will keep me warm from october on
and when i reach the ocean i'll fake a smile
and i won't forget the way you had to soldier on
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5. |
hey blue jeans
04:11
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what did i do to be here where i was - alone in the laundry room head in a book
he's half a mile away coughing up blood
when I see these fake doctors i'm too weak to look
have i become enough for me dad does my mom see herself when my head's in her arms
am i the one worthy to claim singularity am i still the one who can do no harm
maybe i'm starting to understand authors who pass on their stories that give us deliverance
but i've never paid for the sum of my actions, i'm too clean to end up an orotund icarus
if it was me would they call me a man and hold back my first name till my mom was awake
would they call my sister and bring her to me or would they even care about the difference it'd make
something inside me makes me feel like moving to southern montana in a home made for two
i'm such a coward yeah i'm such a baby but i can't get over what happened to you
somewhere at home in the attic i'll look for the picture of us from before i turned six
i hardly knew you can i claim to know you could you do the same you were only a kid
i still remember the last time i saw you if you were alone would i come up to talk?
maybe i'm playing out all these emotions and trying to embellish how we interlocked
twine through my fingers the rope burns my palms am i free to let go if it's killing my arms
or is there a reason to hold you up higher am i still the one who can do no harm
come back and tell me you weren't afraid of dying
when you called out "hey, blue jeans" that day in the park
i was in the dugout laughing to death
but still i was afraid of the speed of the ball
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6. |
III
03:29
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i'd like to build hotels
and fill them up with trees
a place to be alone
it's late and he's alone
too old for climbing trees
too tired for his hotel
you told me of the tree
where you would be alone
your personal hotel
but if you draw my room in chalk
you'll find i'm closer than you thought
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7. |
IV
02:25
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when i am alone and your friends are coming over
i am thinking how it happens i am feeling where to go
if you are all alone with nobody that i know
i am thinking how to have it i am feeling how to go
when the light from my street wanders into where i'm sleeping
i am wishing i could keep them on my fingers as they go
if you are alone and you're waiting for an answer
i am thinking how to tell you i am feeling what i know
i am starting to know how to become a better person
there is no good or bad, there is only does it hurt you
if you say that it won't who am i to make a frown
there is no good or bad, there is only i am hurting
if i say that i am i will never let it go
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8. |
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i never was strong in the way that i wanted - i'm awkward on courts like a sad queer dog
but when i was little i used to fly through the water past the coaches that screamed out "you're doing it wrong"
now i step back with my hands on my knees and wonder what i believed when my legs would burn
a time clock stops as i tread through the water, now i wait for that agathist kid to return
what does it mean when the trumpets are braying do you lose yourself first in the flex of a wrist
how many times does it feel like you're dropped and is it worse if there's a bottom to hit
do you think that i'm uncool when i piss in bottles for a story to tell
i'm that dumb little boy with bandanas on his face trying to be like your movie
oh sometimes i hate my friends and their one-d geometry brains
you rotate the plane and discover the faces beneath a stormy polyhedronal sea
no i'm not pretty when i brush my teeth, but somehow you clean yours next to me
white foam drips through the gap in my grin as i look in the mirror when you're smiling at him
and i'm not silly when i take your sheets, but somehow you lie here next to me
hand folds weird in the crick in your neck but you tell me not to move away
we've no idea what the hell we'll become
and money means something but we're not sure what
is it selfish of me to think only of you, is it selfish to want you only to want me
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9. |
Toronto
01:23
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"my friends are coming home" you said with open invitations
you kiss me on the nose and scrape the sugar from your tea
"if there's anything you'd like it wouldn't bother me to grab it"
as I flicker through the door and finger divots in my teeth
if your plane comes down and there's no one there to greet you
your minute hand revolves around until you understand
if you see a great awakening but only from your window
you will find me in toronto with a broomstick in my hand
so if your plane comes down in a city unexpected
where all my jokes are funny and there are rubies in my eyes
in the morning you'll be waking to the streetlight out your window
in the heart of our toronto with a ripple in your sigh
give my love to el dorado, it was nearly worth the try
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10. |
i temporary
03:56
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there's only seven stars you need to know
from where i stand their resting place is easy to discern
in fifty thousand years the world will grow
and if our kids are still alive there'll be a different space for them to learn
now alioth and mizar guide my eyes to alkaid at the fingers edge from which i hide my face
then merak phecda megrez fall in line
so when i'm in my driveway it's just me and dubhe left in outer space
your face makes an asterism i always recognize
i walk home to the symbolism in your eyes
(and in the end, the things we share are bigger than the things that make me scared)
take my sickness, take my pain when i walk you back under an umbrella in the rain
take my worn out fingers in your hair, feel their context in the metaphors we share
take my stomach, curled around you knees. see me for all that i promised you i'd be
take my sadness, take my haggard eyes arrested by things that we were late to realize
take these bleatings like the tears of an old man, surrounded by the children he made with his own hands
calling them in it's too hard to explain how much he's satisfied in spite of his mistakes
all these echos in the spaces we reside relate to our fingers in the way they intertwine
so i'll hold the left side if you take the right and never let go
if your fists are trembling, pretending to ignore
if you hit the cold with the kick of a shower door
know i will never leave you, i am a sun
and it's only getting warmer as the days go on
it's the tilting of the planet, it's the pulling of the moon
when there's a spring tide you know i'll be coming soon
no, i will never leave you, i am the sun
with rays that stretch down the street like your arms in my long-sleeve ts
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11. |
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i thought that i was sick
now i know that i've been paltered to
i was shown cell and given key
thought somebody turned the lights off
my shoulders shake under the sheets
do you hear me praying in my sleep
will the blackcaps in the backyard ever know the way i feel?
summer's gone but that flicker's still alive
i hear the real though far off cry from rooms of my upbringing
when i see endings in your eyes how can i keep from singing?
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Fun At Camp Atlanta, Georgia
Fun at Camp is Dominic Cristiano, an independent songwriter from the Midwest.
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